AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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