i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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