Dude my mom stole all your condoms
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
