Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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