Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
