Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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