I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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