therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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