His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Will exercising make me less horny?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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