You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
