I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
