I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He did a backflip because drugs
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