i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
