Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
