Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
