I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
