you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
