Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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