I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.