I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed