i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land