Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.