Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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