Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
