pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
