What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
