Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
