Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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