i already hear my dad disowning me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
