I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
