Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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