The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
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Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You're earring is so big in my mouth
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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