hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
