She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
