Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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