As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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