JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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