Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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