would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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