They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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