if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
