If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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