You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
