you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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