The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
