I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
