ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
