was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
