Whod you bang
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
