And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
