K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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