The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
