the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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