He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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