you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize