In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
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We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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