Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
