I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
