So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
