where am i from again
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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