True but thats because hes a fetus.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
