i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize