i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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