you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
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I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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