dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My bed smells like the plague
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
